I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
