We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
