my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
