Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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