I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
