6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
