we're chasing vodka with high fives
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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