She's JV to your varsity
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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