It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Mom said you looked used
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
