her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
tell me about the eggs
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