bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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