Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
