entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
