i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
