and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
