i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
