We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
