on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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