We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
