So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
