It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
