why didn't you poke me back
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
