Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
