I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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