My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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