bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's never too late to be topless.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
