Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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