Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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