I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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