Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
