think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
