Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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