I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
