If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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