she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
