You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
