have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
