Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
