Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
