If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
