eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
try to milk me bitch
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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