got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
