I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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