I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
