Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
