How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
