I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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