Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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