R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Randomize
