Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
